6 Years Gone
by imagination'swildestguest
Summary: Tris wakes up 6 years later in a world thats moved on. The last thing she remembers is her confrontation with David. How will she assimilate into this new life? How has Tobias moved on?
1. Chapter 1

Author's note – I am new at this! I just had this urge to write this fic and just started typing. Don't be too harsh! Constructive criticism is always welcomed, but the haters can stop sippin their hate-torade and just leave.

Disclaimer – all characters and basis of this fic belongs to veronica roth.

Chapter 1

I opened my eyes –

Where am I? The white-ness on the wall to my left blinds me, and then I look up and see a familiar face –

"Christina-"

"Tris! I thought you were dead, we all thought you've been dead. We found you on top of the roof, what happened?" Why did she look so worried and also relieved? The confusion in her eyes worries me. Where was I? I then hear the beeping of a machine next to me. A hospital. So I guess I survived the death serum. Oh right, the war.

"What do you mean? I saw David and I blacked out-"

"The war? The last thing you remember is the war?" Why does she keep cutting me off?

I ask again, "What do you mean? You were there, you know what happened…what's going on?"

A display of pain and discomfort flashes through her eyes, and now I truly see her. Her face has been elongated and now has a pointy chin, she's definitely more defined then I last saw her. Her shoulders are squarer, her skin more tan and she seems a bit taller. But, it's her eyes that have changed the most. They've somehow become more matured, like –

"Why do you look older?"

"I am older…Tris, it's been 6 years since the war. We all thought you were dead. There was no body but copious amounts of your blood on the scene. We were all sure that you were dead."

"What are you talking about?!" 6 years? I was gone for 6 years and no one's heard of me? Where was I? Why is she saying all this nonsense?

Where's Tobias? Why isn't he here with me? Did he survive? I need to see him, I need to be with him, I need to touch him-

The desperation on my face must have been apparent as she tells me to calm down and suddenly I cant breathe –

"NURSE! She's crashing, I NEED HELP! Please, somebody, SAVE HER!"

I'm still staring at her face, She's yelling and the last thing I see is the fear on her face before everything fades to black..

I look up and its not just Christina's face I see.

"Tobias?"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"TOBIAS!"

I leapt up from the bed and crashed my lips into his. I knocked my head with him initially but then my passion took over. It's been too long; supposedly years since I've last seen him…I love him. My lips molded with his and my tongue swept out and brushed against his lips. Then it was like no going back, teeth and tongue clashing, hands desperately holding on to some part of the other person's body. A whimper escapes my lips, as I finally feel a bit calmer from his presence, like this tension being released after a rubber band snaps in half and as I pressed myself against his warm body. My eyes closed for the fear of this being yet another simulation. But this is real, I feel his mouth move against mine, his tongue sweeping its way in and out of my lips, his strong grasp on my neck and waist…I've missed him. There are still many questions and fears that need to be answered… but for now, I kiss him.

"Guys, I am still right here, you know?" Oh right, Christina's here with us. It seems to always be that way, once I see Tobias, its almost like tunnel vision where he's the only one I focus on, I don't see or hear anyone else. I honestly don't do it on purpose, but this man is the bane of my existence. With my parents gone, I relied on him more than ever to find the path of my own life, but found no reason to live or breathe other than the fact that if I don't, I won't have Tobias anymore.

"Christina!" A blush takes over both our faces as we break apart from our overly short kiss. "Well I'm glad to see you're fine." Christina winks at me and leaves the room.

I clear my throat and straighten myself as I finally look up and see his face. He looks…wary. Definitely handsome as always, but wary. Bags under his eyes as if he hasn't been sleeping, scars on his face and neck that I haven't seen before…the conversation previously with Christina was now looping in my head as I begun to process it again.

My eyes go wide as I remembered, "6 Years? Tobias, has it really been 6 years? What's happened?"

His flicks his eyes to the door, his posture becomes unusually stiff and he takes my hand in his. "Tris, I thought you were gone. I-I just lost you. I was planning to propose as soon as the war was over but you didn't survive." A sob escaped his lips. I feel tears beginning to well up in my eyes and then the sadness of it all prompts me to close them, forcing the tears to slide down my face, one at a time. A sob escapes again and I'm not sure if it was from him or me.

He continues, "You were so reckless with your life, I should've seen it! When they told me, I-I couldn't even get up after falling to the floor after hearing the news." Pain and grief grips his entire being as he shakes continuously, his face mangled from having to explain how he reacted to my death…All I could do was listen and try to figure out how or why I'm now alive, 6 years later…

"I thought the worst of my life was over when I left Marcus, I left and literally jumped out of a train at the chance of leaving behind the horrors of my past. But that was miniscule compared to losing you. I couldn't sleep, or eat and I couldn't stay too long in one place or I'd think of how me and you would be spending our time together, my fingers skimming your tattoos while we watched the sunset as you lean your chest against my back…THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN WHAT HAPPENED! YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSE TO DIE AND I'D GET TO HAVE YOU FOREVER!" He gets up and starts pacing, he places both of his hands to his head as if he's the one who killed me, like he's the one who put me here in this hospital bed.

"Tobias…" My voice is coarse and dry from sobbing hysterically, I'm tired and drained but I see the love of my life in front of me. I can get through whatever happens next, as long as I have him.

"We have all the time in the world now. I don't care what happened, as long as you're with me now, then everything will be okay-!" The erudite in me pauses and wants all of the answers to this mystery but all I want to do is be in Tobias' arms. That's all I've ever wanted and relied on. After a hard day of training or just simply finding any excuse to be in his arms at the end of the day was already a highlight of my life.

"I love you. Time shouldn't be a factor here, I'm alive now and so are you, and everything is back to normal so we can be 'Four and Six' again!" The hope that I feel has replaced any uneasiness of the situation, I take his hand put it against my cheek. The warmth of his palm rejuvenises my entire being, he's always been better than any drug or serum out there when I need to repair after a long day.

"Tris." His other hand cups my cheek and he lifts my face up. His eyes, piercing as ever, gazes into mine, and for that one split second, we're both connected. No one else will ever understand me the way Tobias 'Four' Eaton does. The reflection of myself in in his pupils reassures me that I'm his, that all he'll see in his eyes is me.

I close my eyes and sighed and wrap my hands around his wrist and when I feel his hands slip away, a flash of gold passes through my eyes.

"What is that, Tobias?" My voice is fast and breathless, for the fear of what might come next –

"Tris, its been 6 years. I had to let go and move on. I had to live on without you, I'm so sorry –" He stops and places a hand over his mouth, not daring to continue to deliver this terrifying message.

He's moved on.

The love of my life has let me go and has a life outside of these four walls of the hospital. I feel the walls shrinking, re-emphasizing that these four walls is all I have now. I have nothing and I am nothing.

I must look crazy to him as my eyes widen with my hair disarrayed as I shake my head back and forth from the crippling news I have just received…

"Tris-"

"NO! YOU LEAVE RIGHT NOW!" I get up and I feel his arms on mine, "Tris you have to stay in bed, don't do this! Please-!" He tries to place me back and lay me down with his firm grip but I feel his fingers slacken as he sees the pain in my face.

I use this momentum to grip his arms and I push him in the direction of the door. He must not be trying so hard if I'm able to push this strong, and whom I once deemed as invincible, man across the room.

I continued the struggle of making him leave as his pleas of getting me back in my bed and to calm down angers me, I look up from his chest and see his face contorted, the look of pain never suited him. But he doesn't belong to me anymore and this realization is another hard blow to my body.

I push him out the door despite his measly and weak protests and I slam the door. I crouch down and take my head in my hands and I released everything I had within me. The worries, the fear, the sadness and the grief from finding out that my life is no different than what others has perceived of what happened in the past 6 years, deafens me.

I'm dead.

I scream and screech as I can't cope with this sudden loss and I'm clawing at my hair and the dry sobs render me into the brink of insanity. The door opens again but I'm too focused on letting everything out that I don't even notice.

A hand reaches out and wraps my body as I barely register whose limb this belongs to. I see a flash of black hair and tan skin as I take the hand and hold on for dear life. The screeching stops.

I feel tears on the side of my neck from where this person was crying. They must feel sorry for me.

We both just sit there. My eyes glazing over to everything and nothing. I'm simply there, not thinking or living. The only sign of life that I can detect is the beat of a pulse on Christina's wrist against mine.

I finally move to close my eyes, after being spent and drained after such a horrendous day. I fall sideways onto my friend's shoulder and slack against her body. I tuck my head under her chin and just try to breathe. I place my ears next to her heart and try to take a breath every time I feel her heartbeat.

One breath at a time.

That's the best I can do right now.

I feel her place her head against mine.

Inhale. Exhale. One breath at a time.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Authors Note**__ – AHHHH my first fic and I already have some followers and reviews. Although its not a lot, I was certainly very elated! I thank all of you, fellow travelers, for giving this story a chance. Lets continue this journey!_

_Im currently on spring break, so perhaps I can upload a bit more than I would normally. Bear with me! =)_

_I want to play with the characters and this does not conform to how they were portrayed in the movie or the book. I'd like to revive or save some of the characters from death if I'd deem it necessary. _

Chapter 3

Well I guess I couldn't stay in this hospital room forever. I'm sitting on the bed and looking out the window. I don't see much. Christina had to help me get dressed while I limply allowed her to take over. I still haven't let go of her hand since this morning...when _that _happened. I have been checked by numerous doctors and have been deemed ready to be discharged and free to leave. It's funny how none of them can see the real scars I'm bearing at the moment.

I'm not sure if I want to leave these four walls behind. I'd like to stay here, and never reveal myself to the world and shrink back to waste away. Life has no meaning now, is it possible for me to be without the reason of my existence? I've always imagined my life after the war with Tobias, in a world where the faction system is all gone but everyone coexists peacefully, that human nature isn't as ugly as it always seems…also to be married to him with a child on the way…

Christina opens her voice for the first time since _that_ happened, her voice leaving her lips reluctantly in a low whisper, "Tris, its time to go."

I turn to see her face, I think back on how this woman is still my friend. I killed someone that was important to her; she's also been through hell and back as well. How is she holding it together? For a moment, I wish I was her.

I nod stiffly as I tighten my fingers around her hand and stand up to face an uncertain future. I lick my dry lips and whisper in a hushed tone, "Okay."

The first step is always the hardest, I'm hoping that this is all just another test, that I'm back to where I was an initiate in training and the only worries on my mind was if I would pass and become a Dauntless, the times where I was still hopelessly and irrevocably in love and alive.

I feel her hand leave mine and I immediately gasp and look at her, as I was scared that I would be left alone once more. But I immediately feel her arm around my shoulder, and her left hand is in mine again. Our steps are in sync as we leave the room; we make a right and continue on, as I look at the floor the entire time, I let my best friend lead me to where she wants to go.

I feel stares and gasps as we continue walking, I pay no mind and all I can do right now is place one foot in front of another. I continue to walk, each step releasing me from the confinements of the room where my life was destroyed and moving ahead feels…good.

I lift my head up and I see my friends; Zeke, Uriah, and Tori. They all look different, more rugged and slouched, but they seem happy to see me from the smiles on their face. We continue to walk until we're placed in front the three, and I gather the courage to take my hand out of Christina's and I wrap my arms around all of them. They all whisper terms of gratitude and endearment in my ear and I almost cry again, but I have no tears left, all of them have been shed for the one man that I love but can't have. I'm all dried up and broken. I'm sure they can see it too.

I back away and stare at the ground and feel a strong arm guide me to a car and I'm sure it's Uriah's. I notice we're not jumping on a fast moving train where a wrong move could leave you behind, get you hurt or killed; maybe they saw me as some fragile girl who couldn't even board a train that I use to do all the time.

I get in the car after Christina and feel Uriah behind me. I'm squished in between two people that I need companionship from, I finally feel safe and sound. I swipe a hand through my hair; a motion that I do all the time, Tobias has always said that it's a nervous habit…

I twitch from the memory and two different hands shot out and press against my legs, both of them steadying me and I take another deep breath. Come on Tris, stop thinking about him and what you use to have with him! Just stop. It's _over. _

I shake the emotions of hopelessness and fear out of the way and realize we've stopped and we're in front of a building. It has its own tattoos, as graffiti has completely covered every facet of its exterior, all the faction's symbols are on the center of the building, lined up horizontally for everyone to see, but the Dauntless sign is the biggest, and I can already guess where we are. The headquarters.

I step inside and find myself completely dazed; nothing looks the same as it once was when I was there supposedly many years ago. I don't even have enough time to register my own thoughts as I'm in awe. It's weird to say but this place is a lot less "daunting" than what I was familiar with. The building is less cave-like and well structured and defined. Lights are everywhere and its illuminated all around so that not even one shadow exists.

This moment is interrupted when I hear the deep and soothing voice that I can instantly recognize.

"Oh my gosh, Tris, you're back! Why aren't you still in the hospital?" I sharply turn around at the voice and see his strong and stern physique coming towards me. I instinctively take a step forward, as I've never had to hide myself from this man and I've learnt to always run towards him in times of need, but once again, a flash of the gold ring on his ring finger prompts me to stop. The gold band that's branded with small red rubies taunts me of the failure of not being able to be with its owner.

Tears start to well up onto my eyes once more, I am once again in the place that stemmed the strong love we had for one another, but this time, the roots have all been pulled out and I'm the only one left grasping at the vines and trying to hold on while dangling off the chasm. This was where we first met and fell in love.

I step to my left and feel Uriah's arm and I lift up my arms to grasp on it tightly while I silently stare Tobias. He stops his steps at my actions, and his arm is left in the air from trying to reach towards me. But what makes me catch my breath is that from this different angle, without him in front of me, I see a woman behind him. I didn't see her before but now its clear.

Her golden hair sets off alarms in my head, and as the ringing continues on, I look down onto her hand and find a blur of gold and red as she comes toward us and reaches her left hand to rest on Tobias' waist.

"Honey, what are you doing? What's everyone doing here? Planning another party without me?" She says playfully. "I see how it is!" She finally registers the situation as everyone is silent and tense and looks around and her gaze finally lands on me.

"Tris?" her voice distilled with shock and surprise.

The woman who took Tobias' love for me, away.

Cara.


	4. Chapter 4

_Authors note – a reader was curious on my choice of Cara to be Tobias' wife, and I honestly felt that she had some of the qualities that he would find himself attracted to the most out of all the other women in the books. Other than that, lets get on with it! =) _

Chapter 4

She's a good person.

I tell this to myself over and over again so that I don't run up to this bitch and kill her.

She was on our side during the war and she helped us. _She's a good person._

My grasp on Uriah's arm provides me much positive energy, enough that I'm able to plaster a small smile on my face and respond to _her, _"Yes, Cara. It's really me."

But this is as far as I can go for now, I look around and stop at Tobias' face. I stare silently and see his tense posture, which gives away how nervous he actually is. What is he afraid of? He's obviously left me behind for an improved life with another woman. He's got it all, and yet he's standing there, ignoring his wife and placing his attention on me.

The small grin stays on my face as I excuse myself. I think I'm allowed to rest after such a long day and Tobias' reaction gives me a smidge of hope. Christina takes my hand and guides me to what will be my new room.

I walk in and take a deep breath. The aroma of sandalwood calms me from the confrontation that just happened. I move to sit on the edge of the bed in the middle of room and place my hand on the linen and let it flow between my fingers.

"Its overwhelming, isn't it?" I see worry in Christina's eyes as she watches me.

I look down at my feet and cant help but confess, "I'm scared." A silent and shaky whisper passes between my lips and divulging yet another fear of mine.

She immediately takes my head and lifts it up; "Scared is a hell of a lot better than being dead inside. That's a lot more than what some people get to have in a lifetime. Walk tall, kid. Always keep your chin up."

In this moment I am so grateful to still have family. They say "Faction over Blood," but with my relationship with Christina, it's the exact opposite. We're in the same faction, but we run much deeper than what our professional responsibilities allow us to. We connected and blossomed our friendship from the effort we put in it and I will never find another person who will understand me like this woman, Tobias is someone I can always trust, but Christina is someone that I will always be able to say anything and everything to. She's my person.

My eyes must have shown my gratitude as she proceeds to kiss my cheek and whispers in my ear, "I love you too, Tris."

I smile brightly for the first time in what feels like forever. Our nonverbal communication bringing me back to the old days, where everything was okay. But I'm too tired right now to be lucid and responsive, even if it is Christina.

"Thanks for everything, Christina, but I'd really like some rest."

"Are you sure? I don't mind staying if you need me." Her stern voice reassuring me that she has my back, no matter what.

"I'm sure, I'd really like to be alone." I need some time to myself and reflect on everything.

"Okay, I'm gonna head out now." Another kiss to my forehead and I move to lie on the bed. An arm sling over eyes and I hear the door shut.

I take this time to think of what I should do. Can I stay here and essentially go back to my old life but not be with Tobias? What do I want? What can I do? I'm not one to be afraid of facing my fears head on. I do not turn an eye when something difficult happens, the dauntless in me wouldn't allow that to happen anyways.

In the midst of all these confusing thoughts, I hear the door open again.

"Christina, I'm really tired, I don't think I can-"

"It's not Christina."

That is definitely _not _Christina.

I jerk up and turn my head from where I'm lying and sit up and stare at him. He's leaning against the door, handsome as always and I find that I'm still dazzled. He was still mine from what felt like only a couple days ago, but to him, it's been _6 years._

He walks over and sits on the edge of the bed and takes my hand in his. The heel of his palm against my wrist, I guess he must be able to sense my heart rate since its been picking up so fast since he walked in.

"How do you feel?" Polite and courteous.

"I'm fine, I guess." Short and to the point.

When was it ever hard for me to speak with this man? I can't remember a time where things were this awkward, even when I was the initiate and he the instructor. But then again, _he is with another woman._ Things _have_ changed…

He starts talking, "Tris, you changed my life. Everything about you electrified me when we first met, you took me by storm and I fell hard. I haven't met you long but you broke down all my walls quickly and you were and still are the love of my life. When you died, it did something to me." He looks away with an ashamed look on his face as he continues on, "I told myself I could never forget you, and that I could never let you go.

I was pathetic, I tried to take the memory serum and become a new man. You haunted me, I could see you smiling, I could see you cooking and getting dressed or sleeping right next to me and it was driving me insane. Christina stopped me from taking it and then she proceeded to beat the crap out of me. She woke me up. I then vowed to be the man you wanted me to be, I got better and started to take control over my life.

I started talking to people again and I met and got to know Cara better. She was so compassionate and she became such a positive influence on me. It took me awhile to even consider being with another person, Tris." He pleads with me, as if he's asking for my permission, "Things progressed and I proposed and she said yes. But the thing is, you're always going to be a part of me and I can never let you go."

His eyes locked with mine as he proceeded to tell me of his journey on how he moved on without me. I just stared at him and suddenly everything clicked.

I spoke up after a long pause, "Tobias, " I started, while taking my hand and placing it on his cheek, "You let me go the second you decided to commit yourself to another woman. You moved on and I didn't exist anymore."

I swallow thickly as I continued to hide my own feelings, I tried to compress my desire to profess my undying love and hurt of him not waiting for me, from him being able to find love even after what we've been through. Was the meaning of our love different to the both of us? How could he ever forget about me and love another person?

Despite these unsettling thoughts, my desire for him to be happy overpowers my selfishness of wanting him to be with me forever; I've decided to let him go…

"I'm happy for you and I would've tried to do the same, if the situation was reversed." I continue to lie, "It sucks how things ended between the two of us but we are no longer the same people. I have to accept that you're not mine anymore, as I'm not yours."

My hands tremble and begin to slide off his cheek, but he took it in his and held it there on his face and tears start to flow out of both of our eyes.

My voice broken from our 'ending,' "You still have my heart, but maybe one day I'll be able to take it back and find another person whom I can love and be with..." and then the final blow of words that needed to be said for this to end,

"Because I can't waste anymore time of my life on something that can't and won't happen."

The crease in my brow deepens as it sickens me to think of another man who can even come close to Tobias 'Four' Eaton, but I can't have him anymore. I'm too focused on this revelation that I don't notice the pain in his eyes as well. How he tightens his fingers around my hand, and how he's placed his forehead on mine until I look up and gaze up at him through the blurriness of the dam that broke through the my tear ducts in my eyes.

He whispers as his tears blends with mine and drops from both of our chins, "Tris, I will always love you."

I respond with what I'll always say to him, "I will always love you, too."

He nods his head, which makes mine nod as well, as if we're re-affirming the ending of our relationship. He wipes away both of our tears and sniffs and snuffles it all in.

I lift my head up, breaking our connection and kiss his forehead. I move to lie on my bed and he stands up to cover me up with the blanket and leans down and places a soft kiss on the corner of my lips and sparks and fireworks ensue. For those few seconds from when the corner of our lips connected, we were 'Four and Six' again. A gasp/whimper released from my lips and I see him lick his lips from where we touched, and then the next second, he runs out the door and I hear the door slam shut another time, its echo repeating over and over again.

But I'm too busy dealing with the fireworks to even register the echoing, or the fast paced footsteps trailing from where the door slammed shut.

As far as I know, the door was never closed.

The fireworks are still going on.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

(if you're not comfortable with graphic/sex scenes, please don't read this chapter, but then again, this fic is rated M)

_The feel of soft lips brushing across my neck and shoulder prompts me to wake up from a good night's sleep, which is always a given when Tobias' is by my side. Tobias' arm wraps around from behind in a strong, tight grip, whilst still leaving tender and sweet kisses to what seems like everywhere..._

_A sweet smile that couldn't be contained appears on my face, and he proceeds to say the first words to this this glorious day, "Good morning…" I then feel a lick on my earlobe, and my smile gets even wider and I respond, "Mmm…It's definitely a __**good**__ morning."_

_A moan escapes my lip as his hand moves up my torso and underneath his shirt that I always wear to sleep and he grabs ahold of my breast, his fingers twisting and taunting my nipple, causing me to rub my thighs as I feel my desire pool between those nether lips..._

_He smiles against my neck as his other hand reaches up and turns my head and I am immediately swept into a deep gaze with his eyes. We pause for a moment, he leans down and lowers his head and right before we kiss and our noses bump with one another, he whispers in a loving tone, "I love you." Before I have a chance to respond, he crashes his lips with mine, and I deepen the kiss and his tongue probes the entrance of my mouth tenderly and I let him in with no resistance. His lips are hard and fast against mine, and I have no intention of stopping…_

_His arm beneath my head that was used as a cushion for the night as I slept, moves to grab my other breast, and now both of them lavishing attention to my nipples, pulling until they've become hard, I moan with pleasure and reach an arm behind me to hold onto his head as our kisses ensue. He proceeds to wisp the t-shirt off of my body and the fun continues._

_One hand moves further south and slips its way between my thighs. His fingertips start roaming around but never ending up where I'd love for them to. "Four…don't tease me…" I then feel his hand rubbing my clit and I moan and buckle my hips against his erection, causing a series of groans from his mouth. "Fuck, baby, you're so wet…is this for me, Tris?" He puts his hand in between our faces and it glistens in the light from my wetness, and he then proceeds to licks his fingers…I smell a whiff of myself…_

_I'm so turned on that I can't even speak. A nod of my head to his question and then-_

_I suddenly feel his fingers slip inside me, he starts off with a slow tempo, then gradually gaining speed and causing me to be at the brink of my orgasm, He slips another finger and then grinds the heel of his palm against my clit-_

"_AHHHHH, TOBIAS!" _

_I fall off the edge and I start to tremble, and I clench tightly around his fingers, he breathes out, "Fuck, you're so tight for me…" _

_He fingers me through my orgasm and he keeps going and going, causing me to cum endlessly, his continues to taunt and tease me with his talented fingers until I can't take anymore,_

"_Four, I need you inside me…"_

_I suddenly feel him disappear behind me, and before any words of protest leave my mouth, I feel him again, sans pants, with his chest to my back, and then he grips my jaw and gives me a sensual kiss whilst lifting up my leg and draping it over his. My legs are open and I feel the head of his cock against my clit. He brushes it back and forth, continuing his teasing; I mewl out some whimpers and moans as he smiles against my mouth._

_He nudges my entrance with his cock and he slowly slips inside of me, his cock so big that it fills me to the hilt, hitting spots within me that make me see stars in my eyes. _

_He starts to slide back and forth, "Fuck! You feel so good… all wrapped around me…warm and wet." He words out these incoherent and broken apart sentences but I'm too focused on how incredible he feels inside me._

_I reach out my hand and grasp his hair behind me at the nape of his neck, pulling and squeezing, he groans into our kiss and his tongue slips in and out of my mouth, in sync with his thrusts against my pussy, his balls catching my clit every time, making me lose my control even more. _

_He continues to pound into me, and it feels like it could've have been merely minutes or hours of him fucking me; one hand pulls and teases my nipples while the other holds onto my head to maintain our hungry kiss, but the intensity of his cock pushing in and out of me causes me to break our kiss and I scream as a sudden orgasm sweeps me off of my feet, he slows down and stops completely. He stares at me intently with a blaze of fire in his eyes. "Fuck, you look so beautiful when you cum for me, baby…" He looks like he's in pain, but I know for a fact that he's trying to hold it in so that our pleasure can extend longer._

_He starts to fuck me again, but I see that he's starting to lose himself from the sounds he makes, "so tight..." "mmmm, so good." The hand that holds my head moves down to swipe my clit back and forth and this is where the rhythm of his thrusting falters as I clench around his cock even tighter in a vice-like grip, and he frantically pounds into me over and over again. My moans are uncontrollable at this point and he says against my mouth, "that's right baby, feel me, cum for me again." I stare at him, both of our breaths ragged and the slow build of intensity inside of me snaps once more, and I take his head to pull him down whilst I lean up and I scream my orgasm into this one kiss and he absorbs all my sounds by kissing me even more forcefully, his fingers on my clit pull and press with even more urgency and he bucks hips inside of me one-two-three more times and he calls out my name in my mouth and all of his muscles strain as he releases inside of me…_

_We continue to lay on our sides as we try to slow our breathing, our arms and legs tangled and I lean up once more to pull him in for a sweet kiss and he moves to pull out of me but I stop him, "No, stay...I like it this way," I say shyly and we stay in that position, with him wrapped around me, I feel content and satisfied. Making love with Tobias is always an experience; I don't even know why I was afraid in the first place, being with Tobias in an intimate level really made our relationship flourish, we got to physically show one another how much we did in fact love and cherish each other and things are finally going great, despite the war between factions at the moment…_

"_So…do you want breakfast?" He interrupted me from my moment of contentment and bliss and I can't help but split my face with a wide grin._

_I smile and pull him down for another kiss and we didn't leave bed all day-_

"TRIS! WAKE UP!"

I jolt from my bed from the sudden jostle of someone grabbing my shoulders and shouting in my ear.

I wake and see Christina in worry, "Tris! Are you okay, it seemed like you were having a nightmare?"

I tried to hide the blush I feel coming into my cheeks and just keep cool, "Christina! I'm fine! I just had a restless night of sleep. Maybe I'll have a nap later."

She believes my lie and continues on, "Well, since you've been gone for so long, I just wanted to take you on a tour of the new headquarters and the city. You up for it?"

I'd honestly love nothing more than to be caught up with this new world and settle in, too much has happened; some peace and normality would be nice. "Yea, I'm up for it! Give me some time to get ready can you? Sheesh, the way you barged in and woke me up sorta gave me a heart attack!" A joke…it feels good to be making one. Step One – shed some more light into my life, there shall be no more being sad and depressed, and I have to work on being happy again.

"Dang girl, just tryna make sure you're alright. I'll give you some time to get ready!" She walks away and then abruptly turns around and faces me, "By the way, I like seeing you this care-free!" and with another smile, she carries on and walks away.

I'm finally alone to myself and I feel myself blush from the dream I had, we made love just before the war, and the memory is as clear as day. I feel my eyes starting to become sore, a telltale sign that more tears will creep in, and trying to enforce Step One for the first time of the day, I suck my tears in and focus on getting ready for a new adventure.

I get down to the cafeteria and I see Christina and everyone there sitting and laughing, I see a spot next to Uriah and I sit down, everyone happily greets me and I start munching on a muffin.

"So Tris, you excited for today!?" Zeke's bubbly and funny attitude quickly spreads on and causes everyone to chuckle, I answer back happily, "YES, I'm so excited!" He gives me a high five and Christina tells me that its time to start the tour.

We walk up the stairs just as Cara and Tobias is walking down, and remembering the dream earlier this morning, I blush and look down, I mumble a "Hey" and walk pass them, but I couldn't resist and looked back when we were a few steps behind them and I catch Tobias looking at me too, his face shows the expression of confusion, my red cheeks flush even further and I look forward again; Christina catches this exchange and whispers to me, "What was that all about?"

I reply honestly, "I have absolutely no idea."

I turn the corner and I bump into someone, "Ooops, I'm sorr-"

I look up and before I can even register what's happened, I strike her in the face and punch her in the stomach and before I can land another blow to her head, a strong arm stops me. Tobias' hand on my arm does something to me; it distracts me before I feel a slap on my cheek from the previous recipient of my blows.

"How dare you?" She says in her usual arrogant tone.

I don't even notice the pain of the slap to my face, as I look at the person in shock.

_Jeanine Matthews. _


	6. Chapter 6

_Author's Note – Updating this fic might take a bit longer now because spring break is over and I have school! But I am always working on this fic, whether its thinking about future storylines or actually typing everything down, so please bear with me! _

_Thanks for all the reviews and follows, it really means a lot to me! You all are what drives me to do better with every chapter! =)_

Chapter 6

I'm stunned. I am beyond words. I-

Want to kill her.

"WHY IS SHE ALIVE?!" I struggle against Tobias' arm that's wrapped around me; I'm so full of anger and hatred that I can't think straight. The woman that caused so many deaths of the people in Abnegation, including my parents…is alive and well. I turn around and glare at Tori, "WHY ISNT SHE DEAD? I THOUGHT YOU STABBED HER!"

I'm not a vindictive or malicious person, I believe that people are good at heart, and despite what I've experienced and seen from them, I still have hope. I would never wish upon someone's death and I would never intentionally kill an innocent person…

But Jeanine Matthews is not a person, she is a _monster._ Her fixed belief on how human nature's ugliness and negative influence causes for a bad society and that the eradication of an entire faction is the answer to the attempt of a perfect utopia, sickens me. Her belief hurt so many people, and to those that have survived, they will always bear with the scars from their brush with death and will continue to live in fear for the rest of their lives.

I continue to stare at Tori, the strong and opinionated woman cowers down and turns her head away from my pointed glare, I see tears in her eyes but I don't care. I just don't understand why she would lie to me? Didn't Jeanine kill her brother for being Divergent? But now, Jeanine Matthews is standing in front of me, _alive._

I try to turn away from Tobias' grip but he wouldn't relent, I turn my head and give him a pointed expression.

"LET GO OF ME."

He sees my persistence of wanting to be freed and slackens his grip, and he looks at me in the eye and mouths, "No."

At this point I am livid, and by not wanting to say the wrong words to my dear friends under anger, I gain the strength to shrug off his arm and walk away, not before another glare at Tori. The tears in her eyes start to spill and for a moment, all I wanted to do was hug her, but my pride and frustration took over and I knew I had to get away from all the madness.

None of my friends or the people from my faction told me what happened, _none of them._ Do they not trust me anymore? What else are they still holding back? Do they know anything about my disappearance as well? How can I trust _them_?

I walk up to the roof for the first time since they said that's where I was discovered after 6 years, I can still see an imprint of my body on the gravel where I was dropped off. I walk past it and step towards the edge and I sit down, and as my feet are dangling off I feel a bit…free. The wind rushes past me, even howling at one point, but I'm too liberated to feel how cold it actually is. I close my eyes and tilt my head up to the sky, and I allow a small smile to past my lips as I finally feel like myself again and not constrained by anger and fear or confusion. Tori is my friend, as is the other people in Dauntless and they deserve the benefit of the doubt; there is a war going on, and even I should know that drastic measures can be taken in extreme times.

I've been so caught up with my nonexistent relationship with Tobias that I haven't taken the time to really see how my friends have been. Perhaps with time, everything and everyone will settle down for the best.

I feel someone sit down next to me on the edge of the building and I can tell that it's Christina from her scent of strawberries. She was always a sucker for anything, strawberries. I feel her take my hand and I turn my palm so that its facing up and I grip her hand whilst still enjoying my silent conversation with nature.

I finally open my eyes and turn my head to her, and she looks at me with wonder but also with understanding. She certainly knows me better than anyone.

Both of us take our dangling legs off the cliff and turn towards each other and interlock our feet and swing it around, this was our little ritual when we were training.

She looks at me and says, "I have something to tell you." So this is it. I take a deep breath and nod.

"The first part of the war was brutal, after you died, we all went a bit crazy. You were a leader and you were gone, just like that. We had to regroup despite what happened and Tobias was a mess so we didn't get to ask for his opinion.

Yes, Tori did stab Jeanine, but it turns out she didn't die. She was left in the hospital and the Dauntless leaders decided to keep her alive, for the sake of her knowledge and talent for creating serums. We needed her and even I couldn't ignore that. David is out there right now with an army and we know that they plan to strike all of the factions-"

I held up a hand to stop her. I needed to absorb this information whilst still needing some of the answers to my questions.

"Do you really not know why I was gone for 6 years? I really need to know that I can trust the side that I'm fighting for, Christina. I'm worried out of my mind! Are we really dismissing all of Jeanine's crimes because we need her? Who's to say that she won't betray us? She told me that she believed in her cause and she's willing to die for it, I don't trust her!"

She responded, "Yes, when I also heard she was still alive, it was a really tough pill to swallow. But she's helped us make a better memory serum and we caught a lot of traitors because of it. She's useful to us, Tris, and I want us to use her as much as we can before we take her down. Her crimes will not be forgotten and we've all agreed to lay it all down on her when the war ends. Sure, its already taken years but we will win and when we do, She's gonna pay. But for now, we wait.

Because of our heavy involvement and the number of trained people we have, _we're_ now the ones trusted to run the government because we now have Abnegation on our side, whom we also deem as consultants, and Jeanine works directly under Dauntless now. Everything she does is monitored and she gives us information on Erudite, because they're also still trying to take over by teaming up with the faction-less, namely Evelyn." A snide look appears on Christina's face.

Then it becomes earnest and full of emotion, "Tris, please believe me when I say that we had nothing to do with your disappearance, if I had any knowledge of it you'd have woken up a lot sooner! You don't think it hurt me when you died? I would never do that to you, _ever_."

Her plea makes me feel immensely guilty, how could I ever even assume that Christina would betray me? And…even though Tobias and I aren't together anymore, it doesn't mean that I can't trust him, because I always will. I believe that they're fighting for what's right and I'll have to always trust that.

With this new determination and also renewed affirmation of trust, I nod and say, "Okay."

Christina exhales a breath of relief and continues on, "There's also something I'd like to ask of you."

"Sure, what is it?" So far, most of my fears are answered so I'm curious as to what she has to say next.

"We have decided that you should be re-trained. The Choosing Ceremony will be in a week, and we want you to start all over again."

My eyes widen as shock surpasses me, "WHAT?"

"…I have to be re-trained, as in I have to pass tests to become Dauntless again? I have to face all that fear of becoming faction-less again? But I was FIRST IN MY CLASS!" I stand up and start pacing around. So I guess they don't trust in my abilities to fight for them again…

"NO, it's not what you think!" Christina quickly stands up to squelch any of my insecurities and frustrations. "We all agreed that you should go through the training again. Tris, we haven't seen you in 6 years, and we have no idea what has been done to you and what's happened or-

"I get it Christina. Don't you guys think I've asked myself over and over again why I can't remember anything? Why I was taken away and who could've done this to me?

All I really want is to move on right now. I can't keep going back to the past and thinking of my life when I still had Four, when I still had my parents, when I was just trying to fight for the right thing. Now you want me to go _back_ to that life but with the reminders of all that's _really_ happened? I knew who I was because I had everyone I loved around me. But now I've lost a great deal of people, and I lost a lot of myself and at the moment, I just want to _live."_

Christina sighs, "This isn't about us not trusting your capabilities, but you've been out of commission for 6 years for all we know. There's a war again and we need for you to be how you were back then, we are desperate for a new plan of attack and we think it's _you._ You always gave us the edge with your lateral/outside-the-box thinking, and we could be so much stronger with you now, like we were before!

Look, we just want you to train for a bit before we start activating you on missions, and you'll be placed in the training with everyone else, but you're the only one without the threat of not passing and becoming faction-less. All that's going to happen for you is just training and understanding our world again," She then smiles fondly, "Not that training won't kick your ass like it did back then, but then again, I don't see there being a problem since you were in the top of your class." The sweet smile becomes a sly grin.

"Why? What are you smirking about?"

The smirk becomes even more apparent. "Because one of my jobs this time of the year is to train the Dauntless-borns, and four of people in the last 6 years that were placed at the top of the class was trained by me. So expect some fierce competition, 'Six'"

All the previous tension that I've felt is now completely gone, but I still have yet to say yes or no to this "re-training" situation.

"Be prepared to have your Dauntless-borns' ass kicked, cause they won't even know what hit them."

Christina's mouth slackens wide open and shrieks, "OH MY GOD, is that a yes? Please say it's a yes, we're gonna have so much fun!"

And then the stern and determined Christina reverts back to her old bubbly self, just like I remembered and all was well again.

"So I assume I will be a Dauntless transfer again?"

This is when Christina's face has fallen into worry again. "Oh..."

"What is it?" What else has she now told me? I'm kind of sick of all these sudden surprises that keep catching me off-guard.

"Four stepped up and volunteered to be the instructor of the Dauntless-transfers when we agreed on having you trained again. Mostly everyone agreed because of how well you did under his training…"

I take a shaky breath and run the tips of my fingers through my hair. Me…and Four? Again? Why does the universe like to mess with me? Why can't I just avoid the man that I love, who just happens to married? Will I ever catch a break? But I wonder why he'd want to train me again though? Isn't it better if some distance between us was there? Hoping that Christina has some inkling as to why Tobias would do this, I ask, "Why would he volunteer, though?"

Her hand pats my shoulder, "I honestly have no idea, but trust me when I say this, thing's are about become very interesting."

"Is that supposed to be reassuring?" Christina's candor side does nothing to calm me down.

"Whether you like it or not," She shrugs, "There's going to be a whole lot seeing "Four" again. Are you okay with it?" Her face of concern never leaving.

"I'll have to be ready, won't I? I just have to focus on the training and becoming a better fighter, I think that will keep me occupied and not worry about my ex-boyfriend/lover becoming my trainer for ten weeks." Step One is now fully in action, I just have to maintain positive thoughts and not think of Tobias in any way, except professionally. Can I really do that, though?

"Everything's going to be alright, Tris."

"I'll take your word for it, Chris. I just hope you're right."

"I am."

"I thought you weren't suppose to lie as a Candor."

A small grin appears.

"Are you sure you haven't been hit in the head while you were gone? Cause I am a Dauntless now, babe."

"Oh, right. How could I have forgotten all those times I've trained with you?"

"Shut it, Six. Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. You should really avoid it."

"At least I have some sort of wit, after all, I am Divergent with Erudite in me. Not like someone who only knows how to speak the first thing on her mind."

"Hey!" I feel a smack to my arm. As we both chuckle from our banter, we both slowly start to walk towards the stairs.

"Want to get a muffin?"

"Sure! Let's go."

I stop in my tracks and look at her and she senses me and stops too.

"Want to come and jump off a building with me instead of walking down?" I reach out my hand.

She takes my hand with a smile and says-

"I thought you'd never ask."

And we both fall off the building, laughing and screeching.

Without a care in the world.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

After an even more in depth talk with Christina, it seems that David is still out there, doing who knows what. There was a lead at the time, about a year after his and my confrontation, that he took over the Amity farms and the Dauntless sent Peter there to be a double agent, but before any real information could be sent to us, he was executed from being discovered. All Peter got was that David is planning something…big. But before we could send in another Dauntless, David had already moved to another secret location beyond the walls of Chicago.

So for now, the factions have reluctantly agreed to unite and face David and the "US government" that's behind him. I have an inkling that once the war with David is over, that Erudite won't even hesitate to start another war immediately.

I spent the week exploring around the city, mostly with my friends, but sometimes alone. Right now? I'm on a train that goes around the city, and I'm thinking of Peter. He was never someone that I respected; he was a coward who only thought of himself. But his self-preservation was something I…wanted. Sometimes I just don't even realize that I'm on the brink of death, yet I walk towards that direction anyway. Peter did whatever he could to stay alive, and even now, I'm don't trust myself to make the right decision when the occasion arises itself again.

I've been warned many times that my recklessness would really get me killed one day, but laying on the side of this train, all I want is to stay on and never stop moving. I want to be away from the war and the sadness every time I feel when I think of my parents, my brother, and my failed relationship with Four.

I'm barely keeping it together and they want me to fight in a war? Staying on this train forever seems like such a good idea right now.

But I had to get off the train eventually.

I jump off and land on the roof once again. I jump down those many flights and walk towards the dormitories. I pass by the cafeteria just to get something to fill myself up with. Tomorrow is the big day. I grab a hamburger patty and chew on it scrumptiously, seeing as I haven't eaten all day. Sometimes, I just wish my mother was here to make me one of those flavorless salads I use to hate…but now, one of those doesn't seem too bad…

I go back to my room and I lay on the bed. I close my eyes and let myself doze off into a dreamless sleep…

A few hours later…

"TRIS, IT'S A BIG DAY!"

Christina's flamboyant personality immediately asserts itself to wake me up at the crack of dawn.

At this point, I wasn't having any of it in favor of more sleep. So I mumble "Christina, go away," and I snuggle further into my fluffy pillow.

But she wasn't having it either and ripped the blankets away from, leaving me very frustrated from being exposed from my warm cocoon. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" I jolt up and open my eyes and try to glare at her despite my eyes being blurred from trying to adjust to the light in my room.

"Come on, it's the day of the Choosing Ceremony!" She jumps up and down cheerfully. Where the heck does this woman get her energy from? I look at the alarm clock on the side of the bed and it reads, 7:13 AM.

"Why are you waking me up so early? The Choosing Ceremony isn't until 11am." I whine endlessly, hoping that she'd relent and let me go back to sleep. "Please go bother Zeke or Tori and leave me alone." I try to stealthily grab my blankets from her but she was on a mission to get me ready! She snatched the blankets away and threw them to the other side of the room.

She stares at me, and has her hands on her hips with her one eyebrow raised with the look of, "You're not gonna win, so you should stop trying."

Realizing that I was fighting a losing battle, I get up and then the cheerful Christina returns. She claps her hands and says, "Great, go get showered and ready and I'll dress you up and we can go early!"

I grumpily walk to the bathroom and take a shower, wash and dry my hair and pull it in a tight ponytail after I was done. I decided to wear a robe since Christina will most likely not approve of what I would like to wear, so I don't even bother with wearing anything. I walk out of the bathroom and find Christina gone.

I walk towards the living room and find a note on the table:

_I know today is a big day and you wouldn't be so fond of me bossing you around and telling you what to do and what to wear. Haha. Once again, today is a big day for you and I'd like for you to be as comfortable as possible. So I hereby give you a fee pass today to wear what you want! But it's __only__ for today! I'm so happy to have you back into my life, and I hope that today marks the beginning of a new journey for you! I love you, sistah. _

_Oh, and wear something that's Dauntless-themed please? _

_I'll see you at the Ceremony!_

_P.S. I know I woke you up early but I needed to make sure that you were awake early enough so that you don't miss it! Plus, if I'm awake, then you should be too!_

Christina's note waters my eyes instantly, what did I do to deserve a friend like her?

Two hours later, I walk up to the mirror and look at the girl in the reflection, a black wife-beater, black leggings that are loose yet form-fitting, and black combat boots with a black blazer.

I was a true Dauntless, and I was ready for this journey to begin. I walk down to the cafeteria and I see my group of friends and I immediately run over and hug Christina from behind and murmur "Thank you" and kiss the top of her head before I walk over and sit next to Uriah. My nervous jitters start showing itself by tapping my fingers on the table endlessly before Uriah finally grabs my hand and squeezes it tight in reassurance. I look up at him and see a smile and I relax again, then… I felt Four's presence before I even saw him. I look up even further and see him walking past our table, I see his eyes on Uriah's and my interlocked hands with his eyebrows scrunched up and then he shakes his head and walks away.

But I have no time to consider what that reaction from Four was, as it was time for me to walk to the central headquarters for the Choosing Ceremony.

I walk alone, and I'm at the auditorium where the Ceremony will be conducted as always and I sit in the back, and I just blur out the nervousness and try to embrace this process.

"So today is the Choosing Ceremony…" This speech bores me to the core of my body and I couldn't help but think back to a certain moment back when me and Four were still training in Dauntless after realizing what we were to each other…

_I was walking back to the co-ed room after a brutal day of training and suddenly a hand grabs me and I find myself nestled in a little nook inside the wall and I was pulled against a strong, hard body._

"_What are you-" A pair of hot lips place themselves on mine before I could finish what I was saying, I instantly recognize the scent and I immediately mold myself even further into Four. Both of our bodies are connected from head to toe and I put my hands on the nape of his neck whilst opening my mouth, granting his request of swiping his tongue against my lips, signaling what he wanted. Once I open them, he snakes his tongue against mine and he angles his head to deepen the kiss. One of his hands on the back of my head whilst the other wanders from down my back to my ass. He squeezes tightly and I moan and I feel him smile against my lips. _

_We didn't stop for what felt like a long time, but when air was becoming more and more necessary, I broke away, panting heavily. I look up at him with a curious look. "I thought we agreed that public display of affection was forbidden!" I look around to see if anyone has discovered us whilst he chuckles and kisses my forehead sweetly. _

"_I work in intelligence remember? This little hideout is the only place where cameras can't see. I found out this blind spot a while ago and decided that I should test it out. What better person should I test it with?" His wicked smile makes me weak in the knees._

"_It better only be with me." I threaten playfully whilst pulling his head down for another heated kiss-_

"Beatrice Prior."

I was woken up from my daydream abruptly and I look around the room and felt many eyes on me. Many people gasp in surprise and whispers ensue. Nobody knew I was alive again after my "death," 6 years ago, but I knew this was coming and their shock doesn't surprise me. But the stares and whispers were a bit intimidating. I gather the courage and walk down slowly, in fear of tripping myself and causing myself further embarrassment. Gosh, why did I have to choose a seat in the very back of the room?

I walk up the stage and take the dagger and slice my hand without hesitation. I know where I belong, unlike the last time I was here. I place my hand atop of the rocks and felt my blood dripping down my palm and I could hear the first drop of blood hitting the small stones where it begins to sizzle. I felt nothing, seeing as I already know that I'm a true Dauntless.

I turn back and see my friends all smiling at me and clapping their hands vigorously. I smile back and walk towards them, and I see an empty seat…next to Tobias.

A blush on my cheek appears as I remembered the encounter we had in my daydream, I elected to walk past him and sit next to Tori, where she handed me a bandage to cover my bleeding palm.

Then, the Dauntless initiates all rise as the ceremony ends and I leave my friends and run with them up the familiar path to join the train that will lead me back to another ruthless journey of Dauntless training.

I run with ease and jump on the train swiftly and sit down in a corner and observe. A guy running his mouth to a bunch of transfers who are from Candor and Erudite, no doubt a Peter 2.0, another guy standing on the side and looking at his palm with an intense expression on his face, and a girl next to him, holding his other hand whilst clenching her own hand that was sliced for the Ceremony, in a tight fist. This couple took my interest and I notice that they are both from Abnegation from their clothing. The girl looks up and sees me staring at them. I wave and smile to her and she gets the attention of the guy next to her and they both walk towards me.

"Hi, my name is Laurel." Her voice strong yet sweet.

"My name is Jordan, nice to meet you." His voice firm and deep.

"I'm Tris." We all smile at each other, seeing that we all know what the other just went through to get on this train.

"Are you Dauntless-born?" I look down at my clothes that were "Dauntless-themed" as Christina requested, "No, I'm a transfer."

"From where?" Jordan asks me.

"Abnegation." I'm trying to keep it simple and short so that they get the hint and stop digging further.

Laurel looks at me and slides to sit next to me and puts a hand on Jordan's arm when he opens his mouth to ask me more questions. "Jordan, I think she's a bit tired from all this excitement, as am I. Let's just sit here and relax for a bit."

I send her a grateful smile and I can tell that she will be one of my allies in this training process. I just hope that we can make it out together. We take the train for about 10 more minutes and I stand up when I see the roof. I turn to Jordan and Laurel, "We have to jump!"

I am the first to jump off the train and I turn back right before I leap off and see everyone looking at me like I was crazy. I roll around the gravel and the imprint of me when I was dropped off three weeks ago was gone and had faded completely.

One by one, more and more initiates jump of the train and I see Jordan and Laurel jump off together last amongst everyone. Then I see Eric walk up the stairs and see that he will be an instructor of the initiates and I roll my eyes as he walks past me.

The usual speech of who wants to jump off a building first and the ones that don't are not right to be in Dauntless compels me to roll my eyes once again, but Eric catches me this time, "Am I boring you, Stiff?" His snide remarks makes me want to puke, "Why don't you jump off first once again to show these initiates how its done?"

I wasn't scared of his taunting so I walk right up to the edge and before I jump off, Eric says, "Ladies and Gentlemen, the only person whose had to repeat their training in Dauntless history, please welcome…Beatriz Prior!" He starts clapping and then everyone looks at me and their mouths widen as well. Peter 2.0 starts clapping with Eric, seeing as all he wants to do its kiss Eric's ass and everybody joins in too.

Eric's mocking does nothing for me, I honestly don't care about what Eric says, but the thing that I can't wrap my mind around is that I will be taking someone's place on the scoreboard of the people who make the final cut. I'm a guaranteed winner and someone will become faction-less because of me. I owe these initiates everything and I don't have the right to say anything or mock them back.

So I jump off.

I've done this so many times that the high and the rush doesn't even register anymore. I just make sure that I land on my back and count the seconds until I hit the net, which usually takes about 10 seconds.

I fall and bounce like I was on a trampoline and I feel someone yank the net and pull me towards them, right…I completely forgot about Tobias.

I stare at him and then it was like the very first day that I saw him again, his indifference expression of meeting me and not caring whether what my name was; he stares at me too and I'm guessing that at the moment, we're connected by reliving that same memory years ago.

I sigh and without his help, I jump past him to stand off onto the side. "Everybody, this is Tris. The first jumper!" He says loudly and once again, many people clap for me, but for completely different reasons than before.

Everyone lands safely one by one, its nice to know that nobody chickened out, once again, Laurel and Jordan are last and they held hand while landing together. It's nice to see a couple who does everything together; seeing the lack of distrust and hesitance reassures me that there's still true love out there in the world.

"Okay, Dauntless-borns please go with Christina, transfers come with me." Tobias says. Christina looks completely bad ass while leading the Dauntless-borns away, but not before she turns around and gives me a wink. I couldn't help but giver her one too.

"So the Stiff has an in with the instructors, we all know who she is and what happened. She can breeze through this training whilst we bust our asses, now that's fair!" Peter 2.0 turns out to be a guy named Jon. He's also a real douche that seems to be worse than Peter. Peter knew when to shut his mouth up to save his ass, but this guy was way too cocky and I really wanted to punch his face…badly. But I figured I could officially kick his ass in training and it'd be more fun then.

"You'd do best to shut the hell up, do you hear me?" Four walks up to Jon and says right to his face. Jon cowers down and looks to the right and whimpers, "Yes."

Tobias backs up and says, "My name is Four and I will be your instructor along with Eric who will be my assistant." Since when was Eric demoted? I don't know but I really like it. But then, it would seem like I would be seeing Tobias far more than Eric, and I don't know if I'd prefer that more than the other.

He leads us to the co-ed rooms and looks at all of us while he states, "Training starts tomorrow at 6am. You don't want to be late." His gaze lands on me last with a small smile of his face and says,

"Lets get this party started."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"_Michelle, take the knife and kill this man in front of you."_

_I lift up my arm in a striking motion, and slash my hand across the chest of a man whose sitting in front of me, and tied up in a chair._

_The first slash immediately gushes a river of blood; it runs down his chest, then his abdomen and slowly drips down to the floor. His bulging eyes and moans signify the amount of excruciating pain he's enduring. But I don't care._

"_Again."_

_This time, I go for the jugular and slice his neck at the right angle with the blade and I feel the red, hot liquid spray onto my face. I feel a wicked smile form on my lips while the man's head lies limply on his shoulder. His eyes still staring at me…_

"_Good job."_

_I look up at to the man standing in the corner. His small smile indicates that I've done my job well. I reciprocate his compliment with another smile of my own._

"_Thanks, David." _

"_You're doing impressively well, as I expected, Michelle." His appreciative gaze to the body satisfies me. My training seems to be going well, a few hiccups here and there, like the previous three times where I couldn't even look at the people I was killing. But now, I have no remorse and no regret. This is starting to become fun._

"_What next?" I ask._

"_Onto the next person." He says, and at the same time, two people in uniform carry a man, also tied to a chair to the middle of the room. This man has been beaten beyond recognition with his bloodied and swollen face. But he was still lucid enough to release a few grunts and whimpers. I've learned to not ask any questions, to understand that its better off that I don't know who or why I am killing, and it's not like David would tell me anyway._

_The two uniformed men carry out the body of the previous man I killed and I'm once again left with another victim. I walk over and take the man's shoulders and turn-_

_I don't stop until I hear a "pop." _

"_Uggggghhhh," his moans of agony excite me exponentially. This one took a bit longer than usual; I'm now comfortable with my kills, I just need to find my style._

_His limp body falls to the floor with the chair from my blow to his head and then I signal to David, "Keep them coming."_

Today is day one of training. I'm nervous and excited all wrapped into one big ball of emotion. I decided to stay the night in the co-ed room with all of the initiates, I didn't necessarily need to because I have my own apartment in the dorm building, but I would rather live with a bunch of people then be all alone in my dorm.

I wake up from the noises of all the other initiates shuffling around to get ready for the day, I look to my left and see Laurel and Jordan sleeping together, laying intertwined on the bed. A sigh escapes me, I just hope that these two can stick it out and make it out alive.

I can tell that becoming a Dauntless without the other isn't even an option for them, and they'd even be willing to become faction-less, as long as they had each other. The only worry I have is that they don't stay alive long enough to tough it out. Christina warned me that the training now is a lot more intense than it use to be, due to the fact that future Dauntless' will have to participate in the war, and that their chances of winning and surviving will increase if prepared correctly. The intensity of the training also caused many deaths, especially the physical stage where many initiates just couldn't survive from the tough beatings or they all fell off the chasm…like Al.

I see Jordan start to stir and I look away and start to get ready for the day as well, I have to shake away these negative thoughts and focus on being better at my skills.

I've decided that after the war, I'd go out into the world and discover more of what everything has to offer. It might be dangerous, so it's still better if I can equip myself now so that I can be ready for whatever's out there.

My fight with Four six years ago, taught me that I am still not great with hand-to-hand combat, and to be honest, I got my ass kicked. My aim with a gun can be better, and if I could be faster when throwing knives, or just faster in general, than I'd have more confidence to partake in the war and actually be able to help out rather than drag everyone down and be a burden.

"Hey Tris, you alright?" I look up and see Brandon, another initiate, ask me.

"Yea, I'm fine. Just thinking about how today's gonna go down, you know?"

"I'm nervous too. But why are you? Haven't you been through this before?" He looks at me curiously.

"Yea, I have." I nod, "But that was a long time ago, and to be honest, I don't really have an "in" with the instructors, they're my friends, sure, but I still have to pass the training." I try to explain myself, because I know that most of these people will become Dauntless from what I observed, this is a great bunch of people, and I'd rather be friends with them rather than become enemies, and it's always good to build chemistry now and have it contribute for the better once we're out there fighting.

"No worries. I won't judge. I have other things to focus on."

"I understand." I really do. "Lets get some breakfast!" I walk with him to the cafeteria and grab a quick breakfast and we show up to the training room. It's the same as before with the stone columns that are spaced out, one wall with targets for us to aim at when throwing knives, and punch bags hanging off at one side, a small open gym with weights and ellipticals…nothing's really changed much.

We all wait until we hear the heavy metal doors slide open, Four and Eric walk in and we all stand up immediately. I see Tobias' head look around and once again, his gaze lands on mine. Our eye contact lasts for a few seconds before he looks away and addresses us, "Everybody, this is the training room. It's pretty self-explanatory on what you will be doing here. Most of our training will be spent here, the doors are open 24/7, so if you'd like to come in and train on your own, that's fine too.

Training will be split into two stages, physical and mental. The first part will be the physical, hence why we're in this training room. Today, we will be learning some techniques and moves to use during hand-to-hand combat."

He then turns his head and directs our attention to the infamous board that tells us our fate in this faction. "This board is everything. You'll be living, breathing and dreaming of this board for the next ten weeks. This shows your progress of your status on becoming a true Dauntless. If you're below the red line, then unfortunately, you'll be faction-less." There are no gasps of surprise or shock this time around, I guess its not a secret anymore, that if you choose Dauntless during the Choosing Ceremony, that you could end up with nowhere to go; faction-less.

"But don't lose hope, this is the first year where we've acknowledged that people can score below the red line, but still meet our standards of being a Dauntless. We will expand the roster of people above the white line if we deem that they are worthy enough to past stage one. So, just work as hard as you can and let everything fall to us, because there will be no biased or harsh decisions from us. We value honor and bravery in this faction and we will treat everyone respectfully. We will make the final decision based on your accuracy, your strength, and your bravery. Am I clear?"

A murmur of "yes" and nods of heads go around the room from the initiates.

"Okay, now lets get started! You can all get acquainted with the room, walk around do some stretching and some warm-ups before we start with learning any combat techniques."

Everyone disperses and immediate picks one of the options this room has to offer and immediately start familiarizing themselves with the training. Some are already wrestling in the center of the room, but me? I look at the punching bags and immediate walk over to them. I move into stance and start reminiscing of those dreadful days where my weak arms were attempting to beat the bunching bag repeatedly.

BOOM.

A few punches is all it takes this time.

The power I have knocked the punching bag off its chain and onto the floor. Everyone stops what they're doing and looks at me while I pick up the punching bag and lift it back to the chain. This was one of the things I discovered about myself after I woke up from my mysterious "disappearance," is that I could somehow exert a lot more force than what my body would usually allow.

But this new force also decreased my agility; I'm not as graceful as I use to be in terms of movement. Also, it seems that I'm not always in control of how strong I can be, sometimes its normal and sometimes it's not.

I went to Uriah with this information one day while we went around to explore the city last week and he took some blood samples from my arm to do some testing. He said he would get back to me as soon as the results come in.

But for now? This newfound power seems to come in handy.

I continue to punch the bag, but with less power and I punch repeatedly until I'm tired. I look at the clock and it seems like I've been at it for an hour now. I move to the knives and start aiming. I'm not as sharp as I use to be, but it should be better with time.

Laurel comes over and starts aiming too. She's not bad at it either.

"Hey, lets play a game!" She looks to me and smirks.

"Sure, what are the rules?" A game? This sounds fun.

"I throw a knife and you have to aim for where I stick it. Every time you can't, I get to ask you a question."

I nod my head, "It seems fair. But how about this? If I win, then I get to ask you a question for every knife that I aim correctly."

"Deal." A smile between us sparks off this game. She would throw it in random places and I'd work on my location and accuracy by striking the wall where she threw her knife and the satisfying "clunk" on the floor from where her knives drop gets me going with adrenaline.

"Everybody-"

The sound of Tobia's voice throws me off and I miss.

"-gather around the center of the room please."

I look at Laurel and she shrugs and we start walking to where everybody is, "Hey, you missed one. I get to ask you a question later!" She smiles at me sweetly.

I push her in the shoulders lightly and roll my eyes and murmur, "Yea, Yea, Yea.."

"…Stiff?" I hear my nickname and look around ands see everybody staring at me and I feel my cheeks flush in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry. What was it? I wasn't paying attention." It seems like Eric was saying some sort of speech.

"Was I boring you?" He looks at me tensely. "Well if you're so bored, why don't you come up here and fight with Four to show these initiates how it's done?" His menacing look makes me want to fight him instead.

Wait- I have to fight with Four?

I sigh and know that there was no way I could get out of this, seeing as Four already walked up to the platform and looks like he's ready for a fight.

Everybody looks at me expectantly and parts as I walk towards the platform as well. I look up at Four and we both start circling each other. I roll my neck from the stiffness and shake my arms and get ready for this battle.

I strike first by sprinting and then sliding under Four's legs and come up behind him and knock him in the head. He then immediately turns over and takes my arm and drags me to the floor. I get up and he knocks me to the floor again and for a few seconds, my lips graze his cheek and he freezes from my touch and I elbow his back in a downward motion and he grunts as I roll away from under him. He puts me in a headlock without too much force and I free myself away from him again, As we strike each other repeatedly with different blows, I can't help but compare this fight to the one years ago, when we were upstairs as I was trying to shut down the program after he was captured.

Is he going easy on me? Besides from a few jabs here and there, he doesn't seem to be really taking this fight seriously. His punches aren't enough to make me tumbling in the floor in pain like I've experienced before and he seems to stop hesitantly right before he actually punches me. He's using about fifty percent of his power on me and I can't seem to understand why. But not willing to continue this monkey fight in front of the others, I grab his wrist, twist it, and then flip him over and stop right before I kick him in the head.

I hear Eric clap a few times before he opens his stupid mouth again, "Well, well, well…it seems like you haven't gone slacking for the past few years, Stiff. But you're still a little rusty."

I breathe heavily and feel the sweat sliding off my forehead and look to Four who stands up and is huffing and puffing as well. We may not have hurt each other seriously, but it was still a tiring fight.

Four then says, "Okay everybody, we'll take it easy for today. It's time for lunch, lets all go grab some food and meet back here in an hour." He then walks over to the table with the clipboards as he scores each and everyone of us.

As everybody leaves, I see Laurel looking at me and mouths, "You coming?" and I respond "Later." She nods and takes Jordan's hand and they walk out the door.

I step towards Four and he looks at me in surprise, "Tris, why aren't you going with the others to get lunch?"

His handsome face distracts me from what I really want to ask. I honestly just want to prolong this conversation, and talk to him for hours..,

But I know I can't.

"Why did you go easy on me during the fight? I could tell that you didn't put your full weight into some of the punches. Do you think I'm weak? That I can't defend myself?" At this point I'm frustrated. I'm not some weakling that needs protecting, especially from Tobias.

"No, Tris! I just don't want to hurt you." He places a hand on my shoulder and I feel the heat from his palm radiating into my body.

I shrug his arm away, "This is training now, Four. I don't know you outside of these walls. I'm not supposed to! You're my instructor and I'm an initiate. You said so yourself that it would be fair and equal. Don't make me out to be some weak person that needs help and protection!"

"YOU DON'T THINK I KNOW THAT?" He speaks loudly, his eyes wild from his proclamation. But then his face softens and he speaks gently, "You don't think I want to be professional as well? You don't think I want to treat you like everyone else? But you're not! You aren't them!"

"They why are you doing this? WHY did you volunteer to be the instructor of this year's training?" I ask desperately.

He looks at me earnestly but doesn't respond.

"Why are you doing this?" My voice cracks as I ask him questioningly.

"I just don't want to hurt you."

I look into his eyes and see the pain and the sadness there. We both know we're not talking about the fight we just had.

I take a step back and say,

"Tobias, you already did." I say sadly.

His face falls and his eyes start glimmering from the tears in his eyes and I'm sure mine are the same.

"Is there really no chance that you and I can't at least… be friends?" He whispers.

I shake my head and turn my back on him.

Inhale. Exhale. Each breath I release matches every step I take.

I hear the clipboard fall to the floor and the echoing in the room sounds deafening.

I continue walking away.

Away from him.


	9. Chapter 9

_**Author's Note – Hello everyone! My fellow travelers! I must say that the continuing support is amazing! It truly humbles me because I honestly don't think I'm that good of a writer. I've been in the fanfiction community for many years and never had the courage to write anything. So all of this drives me to do so much better!(and gives me so much more confidence!)**_

_**A lot of people are asking me to update! And I promise you that I am trying my hardest! Right now I am in the final stretch of the semester and I only have 10 days left of studying and finals before SUMMER! Right now, I'm going to have to resist on wanting to write more chapters and focus on my classes! (but I am a procrastinator and I honestly can't stop about thinking on how this story will go, so who knows, maybe I will be updating soon? But NO PROMISES! Haha.) please be patient and I promise that the story will get better**_

_**Once again, thanks for being on this journey with me. Now lets get on with it!**_

Chapter 9

_Moans._

_Giggles._

_Whimpers._

_Kissing._

With a groan of my own, I take the pillow from under my head and stuff it onto my face instead. Sleeping on a cot next to a couple whose fooling around is one of the worst experiences of this training so far.

Not only am I tired and drained from working endlessly hard during training to re-establish my abilities, now I gotta hear another couple go at it in a room full of people when it's 3 in the morning?

Right next to me?

"HEY! You Stiffs! If you want to fuck, then go outside. Not in this fucking room, got it?" Jon yells over at them angrily on the other side of the room.

"Normally I wouldn't mind seeing some action but not when it's in the fucking morning. If I hear that shit again this early in the morning then I'm personally throwing the both of you the fuck out of here, got it?!" He throws in a few curse words after his declaration.

I'm too pissed and embarrassed to look at Jordan and Laurel so I keep my face stuffed into my pillow. Alas, I hear them stop and it was quiet again. I sigh and move to a more comfortable position before I go back to sleep.

"Pssst." I pay no mind to these sounds; it's probably just a flea.

"Psssst. Tris!" I hear my name; I then sit up and look around in confusion.

"Tris!" It turns out that Laurel is the one asking for me.

"Laurel? What's up?"

"Were we really that loud? I'm sorry if we bothered you." A few giggles escape past her lips.

My cheeks burn red and I had to look away. Thank goodness that it was dark. "Uhmm, it would be great if you guys could keep the sounds to a minimum…?"

Oh my goodness, this is too awkward, can we just stop this conversation so I could get some sleep? Or if I could just hide under my blanket and never come out? That would be fine too!

"Oh gosh, we're so sorry! Aren't we sorry, Jordan?" She asks her boyfriend. "Yea, we are." I can hear how reluctant and shy he was from his response.

"It's okay. Can we not talk about this anymore? I'd like to sleep."

"Tris, we just became friends, I don't want this to make everything weird-"

"ALL YOU STIFFS NEED TO SHUT THE FUCK UP. BEST BELIEVE IF I PERFORM BADLY TOMORROW FROM SLEEP DEPRIVATION THEN I WILL BE KICKING ALL OF YOUR ASSES." A few mumbles of "yea," "you tell them," goes around the room.

"I get it! This hasn't really changed much; I knew that you guys are in love and that sometimes you have to relieve some stress! Can we please just end this conversation? I just want to go back to sleep. Goodnight!"

"Oh, okay then." She hesitantly agrees and after a bit of shuffling from everybody, I finally feel relaxed enough to sleep.

* * *

"_So how did you guys meet?" I ask the first out of the five questions from our game the other day._

"_One day I was just walking home from school and he was just there. I looked up and he was walking to my right and caught him looking at me as well." Laurel looks off and smiles sweetly at Jordan lifting weights in the corner of the room._

"_Is that how you guys got together?" _

"_No, we were both too shy to approach one another. He just silently walked with me from school everyday for about a year. Until he grabbed my hand and held it tightly, and I guess we both haven't let go of each other ever since. "_

"_Oh my, that is quite the story, isn't it?" The face of envy and jealousy couldn't help but escape me. _

"_Oh Tris, don't worry! You'll find your love one day! If not, then sooner than you think!" If only she knew…_

_Wanting to change the subject of my once use-to, but now non-existent love life, I change the subject matter of our conversation._

"_So why Dauntless out of all the factions? Surely there must be other ones that can provide the 'happily ever after' that you guys want?"_

"_We thought about it for a long time, we're both from single-parent families and they couldn't bear to continue having the burden of raising us, since it was just too hard on them. That made us understood that staying in our faction was not possible, because Abnegation was on the brink of losing to Erudite, and our parents wanted us to be free from the events on both sides, so we chose Dauntless. We both liked the idea of fighting for what's right, and what better way than to do it together?" _

_I give her a smile as well, "There isn't." She shares one with me too._

"_You have one question left! Use it wisely!"_

"_Wait, the question before the one I just asked doesn't count! 'Oh my, that's quite the story, isn't it?' shouldn't count!"_

"_YES IT DOES! That was a question!"_

"_But-"_

"_ZIIIIIIIP." _

_I open my mouth to object but I know this girl is stubborn and I can see in her face that she won't relent. _

_I start to contemplate, "Can I save my last question for the future then?"_

"_Yes, of course. There is no expiration date to this question! But make it good!"_

"_You little manipulator! I still can't believe that counted as one of the question!" I scoff, "Well you also have one question! What do you want to ask me?"_

"_Hmmmmm…" She puts her index finger on her chin and says; "I think I'll save it for later too."_

"_Wow, that was anticlimactic." I stare at her blankly and say with a monotone voice._

"_Hey! You get to save yours so I do too!"_

"_Fine, fine, fine. Lets go eat! I'm hungry." We both get up from the training room with the others and go down to get some food._

* * *

It's been three weeks of training and everything seems to be going well. I'm not number one on the scoreboard but I'll get there. I'm currently number three. Brandon and Jon are ahead of me, but we still have the fights and stage two of training before we can take these numbers seriously. I'm not here to just merely pass the training, I want to prove that I still have it, even if I am 7 years their senior.

I've been stressing out over the fact that none of these Dauntless initiates know that I will definitely be passing and that someone could be faction-less because I've taken their spot. Although if they meet the general standards as a Dauntless then they might be able become one, it seems that Christina and Four are expecting everything to be the same and will only allow an exception if they really are unique.

I shake these thoughts out of my head as I get ready to go hang out with everyone in the pit. I walk alone and then I feel a hand grab me and I find myself in a familiar nook inside the wall.

"Tris. It's me." Four's blazing eyes set my heart on fire.

"No." I immediately reply.

"You don't get to do this to me." He really doesn't.

"I don't want to hear what you have to say." I can't bear it.

"I just want to be friends-"

"NO. I can't have that right now, please, just leave me alone." I shrug his arm away with some struggle as he tightens his grip on me. But I don't care if it hurts or that I'll have another bruise; I take all my energy and rip my arm from his.

"Tris! Please be rational about this!" His lanky but tone arm stays in the air, trying to reach for me.

This angers me. I walk right back up to him and spit out my anger to his face.

"What the hell is wrong with you? How is any of _this_ rational? I was in love with you and I somehow lost myself for 6 years and when I wake up, my boyfriend has become a husband to another." I take a deep breath in between.

"NONE of this is rational. So don't you _dare_ act like everything is okay." I leave him in our old spot and climb down the stairs to the pit. My heels clicking on the floor, stomping again and again until I get away from him.

"Hey Tris!" I immediately go to hug Christina and I look around and say "Hi" to everyone too. We all walk around and when we get to the tattoo stand where Tori is, I walk over and sit on the chair with the incline. We all separate and everyone walks off to different directions. Getting a tattoo is probably one of the most quintessential thing around here. They didn't want to stay and watch me get one.

"Hey Tori, can I get a tattoo?" I shrug off the strap of my dress on my right shoulder where my original tattoos are and ask, "Can you ink in two more ravens? The same size?"

"Sure, but why two? You haven't been back long, what drove you to get these?" She shares her inquiries while prepping the tools. The buzz of the need always terrified me, and even if it isn't as bad as it seems, the way it sounds is intimidating.

"Uhmmm." I feel the needle poke into my skin. "The ravens signify the people who's very near and dear to my heart. Hence the placement of these ravens, and I've been meaning to add these on even before the first war, and things haven't changed. These people are still very important to me and they've impacted my life greatly. I'd like to think that even if we aren't together anymore, that our relationship still continues to grow beyond what we've had. I still treasure the memories and the laughs, and these tattoos will remind me of that."

"Wow, damn that's deep. I wish I had an explanation like that for _my _tattoos. You put me to shame." Tori stops what she's doing and looks down her arms. She's expanded her tattoo collection and now has sleeves of tattoos down both arms. Flowers, little trinkets like a crown and a flock of braided hair…its beautiful.

"Don't give yourself such little credit! I believe that you have a reason for having each and every one of those tattoos. They're a part of you, don't be ashamed." I take her hand and squeeze in reassurance.

She smiles at me and continues her work. "Tris, I'm sorry about the fact that Jeanine is still alive. I thought I killed her! I really did! But then Four told me that they had to save her for the war and there was nothing I could do." She stares at another part of her arm where the tattoo of a knife is surrounded by a red circle with an 'X' marked across it.

"Tori, we have to move past it. An eye for an eye will only make the world go blind. We need to rise above. Maybe it wasn't meant for you to kill Jeanine. I don't think your brother would've wanted that."

"I know." She sighs and takes a deep breath.

She continues on and maps out the shape of the ravens before filling them in.

"One of the two ravens, it's Four, isn't it?" She looks at me with pity, but I don't blame her.

"Yes." I whisper, " I know we're not together anymore but he's still very special to me. I don't think I can ever let him ago. I just…can't let that part of my life go, it wouldn't be right. He's…my Four. Even if he's not mine, he's still the same man that I love."

"It's nice to know that even some people have enough love despite what's going on right now. Everyone is so tense and strung up on the war that they're not living in the moment. I hate to say it, but we're all losers right now. Even if we do win the war, we've all become zombies. But not you…you're the linchpin."

I have no response as what she says overwhelms me. But then again, "What the hell is a linchpin?"

Tori chuckles loudly and has to stop the tattoos to bring her head back for a good laugh. "Its like the glue that keeps everything together. You're the vital part of this entire organization."

"Oh wow…really? I haven't done much, its just been training lately for me. Not like you guys who are out there in the front and keeping us safe. Christina's been telling me about some of the missions you went on! You went to Erudite and kidnapped Jeanine's son? Oh my, very intense, but it had to be fun right?"

Jeanine had been branded as a traitor to the Erudite after the events of the first war and she wanted her son to be sent to Dauntless in fear of his safety, so a mission was planned for Tori and Uriah and a bunch of others to secure her son and get him back to Dauntless. But they found him under restraints in their headquarters and had to fight off many Dauntless traitors to save Henry, Jeanine's son.

"It was very nerve-wrecking, yes. But that was the most intense of all the missions. Nothing's been happening much…but I feel that something's cooking on the other side, but lets not talk about that!" She the shakes her head firmly, "Speaking of Christina, is the other raven representing her?"

"Bingo!" I give her a high five with my free arm, "Christina is the "linchpin," as you say, of my soul. She's my soul mate. I love Four, but even that relationship didn't come up to what me and Christina has. She's one of my ravens."

"That's like my friendship with Zeke. I swear my future husband will have to allow for me to spend at least five days a week with Zeke, and if not, then I'mma kick his ass out the street." I laugh loudly and try not to shake as much so that Tori can finish up. But I can tell from her small tremors that she's fighting from laughing freely as well.

"Well, there you go!" She finishes and wraps my shoulder with gauze. "I love hearing the stories about the tattoos I do, and yours was definitely at the top. Really, Tris, thank you." I then smash my body into hers for a huge and tight hug. I let go and we both share a sweet smile with a tinkle in our eyes and she winks at me before she helps out another person with their tattoo.

I walk over to the bar and grab a Shirley's Temple; I don't think alcohol will be a good idea. Not only do I have training today, but I've also never been good with alcohol, and I don't want to make a fool out of myself in front of the initiates. Earning respect is as hard as it is already, I don't need to make it even more difficult.

I see Christina waving me over and I see her with a few guys and I roll my eyes. I do not need a matchmaker right now. But deciding that harmless flirting can be fun, I change my decision and start to walk my way over to them.

I didn't even take a step before a figure blocks me in my path. I look up and see Uriah.

"Hey, Uriah! What's up? Have you gotten anything back from the results?" I see Christina urge me over again, "Actually, can we hold off on this? Christina's asking for me."

I mean to step aside and walk off but Uriah blocks me again. "Tris, your test results did come back. But they're…really off." His face filled with unease.

"What do you mean? Of course they're going to be off, it's not normal for me to have super strength, is it?" My forehead wrinkles in confusion.

"No, Tris, you don't understand. I took your blood for testing and it rose up so many alarm bells."

"What do you mean?" I ask further.

"It means that your blood didn't have _any_ protein markers. It's like you're not even human. The DNA system in a person that distinguishes us from one another isn't present on you. You don't even have any antibodies in your blood. I took your blood and compared it to those that we tested when we wanted to confirm your death and none of it is even similar."

"All this science jibber-jabber, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS! TELL ME." At this point I'm in fear…fear of what's happened to me.

"Even I don't know what this means!" Uriah would never hide anything from me.

He takes his hands and cups my face, "Don't be scared. Let me take a bigger sample of your blood now and I'll test it again. I have no idea what's happening but you're still here right? You're still alive and well!"

I nod against his hand and whimpers out, "I'm scared."

He takes my head and pulls me towards his chest and says, "I'm scared too."

"What's wrong with me?" Is there anything that's _not_ wrong with me?

"I don't know."

I.

Don't.

Know.

The echoing of these words never stopped in my brain. It hasn't stopped since I woke up in the hospital room after 6 years.

It hasn't stopped.


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note – I'm BACK! Sorry for the delay, my family and I decided to go on a last minute trip as a celebration of school being over for both my sister and me. I literally took my last final and rushed home to pack and then we took off. I didn't want to bring my laptop. =( But I got back on Tuesday and I tried really hard to bring this chapter to you guys ASAP! **

**Summer has arrived and I am back to updating a lot faster! Thanks for the support! =)**

**Hope you like it.**

Chapter 10

After going with Uriah to the lab for further testing the next day, we part ways and my worried mind guided me to any path that I saw first. Walking endlessly to what seemed like nowhere…

"_Tris, I feel that the key of all this is to find out what happened to you for the past 6 years." Uriah says._

Years.

Years.

YEARS.

I have no idea where to even look! All I know is that two people dropped me off at the top of the roof and they disappeared afterwards. The cameras gave nothing away, and I was just left lying there after being knocked out by drugs.

Question after question races through my mind, there's nothing more frustrating than not being able to formulate answers to such daunting questions.

I contemplate the reason of my existence...really, I do. Why didn't they kill me? Why keep me alive? What's the endgame?

I can forget the world's existence and just sit there, but there's always going to be someone who will always be in my mind...he takes precedence over anything and everything, yet its not reciprocated. How did he do it? How did he?

Thinking of a certain someone, it reminds me that I have training in an hour. I open my eyes and look around and see people walking by me, not confused as to why a woman is just sitting on the side and blocking the hallway. I get up, brush off my pants and walk towards the training room.

I spot Laurel and walk up to her, "Hey Laurel. Hi Jordan."

"Hey!" We all look around the training room and we don't see the usual platforms, weights and knives. All we see are some saddles, some whips and some boots and much thicker apparel than the tanks and leggings we currently have on ourselves. There are stacks of hay piled up against another side of the wall and I'm a bit confused as to why we have this type of equipment here today. Did someone accidentally use this as a storage room and put a bunch of stuff in here?

"I know that you are all confused." Tobias comes in with Eric by his side as they walk into the room.

"Dauntless is a faction that protects the safety of other factions, and since Amity has issued out a statement that they will accept anyone who comes in peace, regardless if they use to be a traitor, their compounds have been deemed as Threat-Level Four. Since issuing the statement, they've been attacked numerous times. Mostly because the other factions like to capture those who have ran from them.

Amity is one of our allies and we decided to send in some of our Dauntless members to be stationed there to protect them."

It makes sense. We were attacked there when we tried to lay-low for a few weeks and strategize. They did us a great favor, and to other people who wanted to seek refuge against the war; they deserve and should be protected.

"Since they are mainly stationed in the farms, we can't get any cars or trains beyond the wall. We use horses, and it goes hand-in-hand with the whole nature thing." A few people chuckle at Tobias' lame attempt at a joke.

Eric steps in and continues on for Tobias, "There's a chance that you might be stationed there to protect them, so today you are going to learn how to skillfully ride a horse. It might take some time, but in the end, there will be a final test of a simple obstacle course. It important." He then looks all of us in the eye, "If you fail, you're out of this training."

Everyone whispers around, a few shrieks and gasps can be heard amongst the noise and I have a few reluctant gasps of breath as well. This was a part of the training that I never anticipated for. An obstacle course consisting of riding a horse? This is one part of the training that I will surely be struggling with.

I don't like feeling powerless, yet I feel like all I can do is guide the horse, and ultimately it's the horse that controls my fate. I know that I'm going to pass regardless, but I still need to make it look like I deserve it, which I do.

"Everybody, be quiet!" All the chatter stops as Eric's voice looms over, "Everybody change their uniform and meet us back here in 10." We all look around, as we are still surprised from what we are about to do.

"What the fuck are you all still here for? The clock is ticking, MOVE!" We all scramble to pick the outfits that are the right sizes for us and we run to the co-ed room to change.

I finish in time, with a leather vest over a long-sleeved sweater, leather pants and some boots to complete this outfit. I move to securely buckle my helmet and I feel my hands shiver a bit from anxiety. The accumulation of surprises in the last couple of days is slowly creeping in and causes me to feel very nervous. I also haven't had a good night sleep in what feels like forever.

"Hey Tris, can you help me with my helmet, it doesn't seem to buckle on right." Laurel stands next to me with her chin up so that I can help her.

"Sure!" I easily slide the buckles in and tighten up the straps for her. We both proceed to sit on our bunks to strap our elbow and kneepads.

"I love riding horses! I'm very excited!" She giggles as she expresses her excitement.

"You've ridden one before?!" Since when do the people from Abnegation ever have the chance to ride a horse?!

"Oh, during the war, Jordan and I went to Amity to be safe. Abnegation was targeted so our family went there. We made friends with the people in Amity and they taught us how to ride horses to pass the time. Even though we were only there for about two weeks. It was so fun! I wouldn't mind being stationed there! Only if Jordan is too though!" She looks at Jordan who gives her a sweet smile.

"Oh really? I'm actually kind of nervous..." I really am.

"There's nothing to worry about! Oh, it's almost time! Let's go!" She runs up to Jordan and they both hold hands as everyone moves to go back to the training room.

We step inside and huddle against the table that Tobias and Eric are sitting on.

"So, to ride a horse isn't necessarily something that we can teach you guys. There's no lesson plan; it's mainly your connection with the horse that will lead to success. Try to guide it with your hands. Pull the reins when you want to yield and whip the horse if you want to go faster-"

"Blah Blah Blah." Eric cuts Tobias off, "First things first, everybody take a stack of hay and run to the train. You need a lot of endurance when dealing with a horse, it might not seem like much but your legs will be even sorer than squatting with 100 pounds with weights on your back. Now run to the train and have your equipment with you!"

I take a stack of hay and almost kneel down to my knees, as does some of the other initiates, this stack of hay is quite heavy. The size of it doesn't do much to help either, I feel two hands take my bundle of hay and stack it on my back and I turn to see Tobias. He gives me a sheepish smile and goes around to help the others. I slowly start to jog and see that I'm the first of the women who start to carry the hay.

I pace myself and follow the men, Jordan turns around and sees me and slows down until we're at the same pace. "Hey Tris, why don't I keep you some company?"

I reply with a breathless, "thanks" and we both jog with the other initiates. We reach the train, which surprisingly stops for us, and I throw my stack into the train and I jump onto it. I stand up straight and feel my back ache terribly. I am so not in the mood of riding a horse right now.

We get a little bit of a break as the rest of the initiates slowly get to the train. I see a few girls hyperventilating and needing a bit of oxygen before we resume. I can tell that if they don't improve, then they probably won't make it through to the end. What a shame, we need more women in our faction.

We slowly ride the train until the last stop. We step off and we run about a mile with the hay to the stables. I'm huffing and puffing and I sit down. I feel a water bottle handed to me and I don't even register whose hand it was before I immediately take the water and pour it over my head and take a few sips as well.

We get a small break before we continue on with today's training. "Okay, now that we seemed to be a bit settled in, choose a horse and take a few minutes to try and connect with it. Take a brush and go through their mane, pet them, do whatever."

I pick a brown horse with little freckles on its face; as its his long black mane attracts me to it as it shines through the sunlight. I walk over to it and as I reach out my hand, the horse shrieks and giddies up his front legs and I flush backwards in fear. The horse does not seem to be calming down, maybe because it's restricted and can't run free?

I walk toward it again and pull up the lever of the gate and swing it backwards, the horse then walks out of the stable and out onto the grass and I pull it towards the middle of the field. A few others have already connected with their horses and started walking around with them.

Feeling a bit in luck and ambitious, I start jogging with the horse and try to have it warm up to me, we pace around for a few laps and it seems to be doing well. I look to see Tobias on his horse already to I decided to step on the stirrup and I jump up and swing my leg to the other side of the horse.

The horse doesn't anticipate me being on his back and shoots forward with a lot of force and speed. I barely have enough time to hold onto the reins and I feel it slip through my fingers and I feel myself fall down sideways, I don't get to brace myself as I fall and I close my eyes shut-

I don't feel myself fall down to the ground.

I feel a strong arm pick me up around my waist and I find myself behind Tobias in a flurry of movements. Instinctually, I put my arms around Tobias' waist and I hold tight.

"Oh my gosh, are you alright?" His worried tone is barely discernable with his horse gallivanting us through the wind.

I squeeze tighter and respond, "Yeah, I'm fine," into his ears. He looks back at me and his sparkling blue eyes are the only thing that I can see clearly amidst the blurry background of green and blue behind his head. He turns his body halfway and once again, uses one arm to carry me so that now I'm in the front. We both grab onto the reins, and with his hands next to mine and our skin blazingly touching, I can't really concentrate. I feel his hard, muscular body behind mine and I'm breathless. His strong body is one that I've been craving since I woke up in the hospital. I feel his warm breath against the left side of my face, his lips lightly touching my ear and my senses are now kicked into overdrive. I can feel my body go hot from this contact.

The heat never ceases; it seems to only increase exponentially. His voice that I've always deemed as sexy, teaches me the ways of holding the reins and guiding the horse.

"Always hold onto the reins when stepping onto the horse. I saw that you squeezed your legs as you stepped on and I think the horse got the wrong signal and took off." His musky scent clouds my mind, and I barely listen. I nod my head and feel his head lean against mine. I close my eyes and take another whiff of him.

"Do you want to try?" He whispers into my ear.

"Yes." I am not one to ever back down from a challenge.

"Good. I'm gonna let go of the reins now, okay?" Feeling my nod against his head, he slowly lets go. He wraps his arms around my waist instead and I almost collapse from the contact.

"Slowly move to the right." He gently says into my ear. He's almost cooing me, and I feel my control slipping away…

I pull the reins too hard and the horse makes a sharp turn and Tobias' immediately lets of of my waist and covers my hand in his and takes control and rights the horse back to running in a straight line.

A sharp intake of breath, I'm not sure if it's from him or myself but his big hands wrapped around mine is just completely overwhelming, yet its just what I needed. I've been wanting to step right into his arms for comfort every time I saw him, yet I have to tell myself that this isn't real…

We both continue the rest of the ride in silence but his body never leaves mine, you probably couldn't even slip a piece of paper between us even if you tried your hardest. His chest pressed on tightly to my back as my arms rest against his and his strong hands wrapped around mine. It was like the old days…

_We lay against the headboard, I lay my back on his chest as we sit upright. His legs outside of mine as he holds up the newspaper. I lay my arms on his thigh like a chair rest and we bot read the news to each other. He takes a column and I take another. _

_Dear Ally, My husband seems to be receiving letters from a pen pal. I saw the address and it belongs to a woman! I ask him about the letters but he nonchalantly turns away from the subject matter. What should I do?_

_- Confused and Jealous._

_I laugh loudly after reading this part. Tobias lays the paper on my lap and then squeezes me and tucks his head into my neck and asks me, "What's so funny?" He places a sweet kiss onto my cheek._

_I smile, "Well this woman is clearly being cheated on. Maybe not physically but at least emotionally. The man is sharing his feelings with another woman. His wife is just clinging on to a shell of a man that isn't hers anymore. She's being foolish!"_

"_Hmmm..." He seems to be focusing on my neck with sultry kisses rather than the subject matter. I hit him on the head lightly. "Ow!" He then bites my neck and I squeal._

"_Okay, okay. So from what you said, you really don't think that men and woman can be strictly friends?"_

"_No, I don't. It's like me and you, we couldn't just be friends, could we?"_

"_To some level, I agree with you, but I feel that platonic relationships between a man and woman can exist."_

"_I don't agree! I-"_

_I get cut off by Tobias' hands, they swipe under my tank top and move over my bra. I become breathless and I turn my head to kiss him. He kisses me long and hard before we break apart. _

_He looks at me and licks his lips in that oh-so sexy way, "What were we talking about again?" He dives back into my neck again, this time using his tongue…_

_I lean my lead to the other side to give him more access._

"_I don't remember…" I really don't._

_I feel him smile against my neck and the night begins as I turn my body and we lay on a sea of pillows and satin sheets…we both went to heaven that night…many times. _

We both gallop around on the horse for about another half hour before Eric whistles and we all guide our horses back to the stables. Yet Tobias seems to be the only that leads to another way. We gain speed as we tread through the trees and slowly heading up an incline of the mountain.

"Four, where are we going? We need to head back the other way!" I turn around, confused.

"We lost your horse when you fell off of it. It ran this direction and we need to get it back! I can't take two horses back or it would take me hours. I need another person's help!" He has the face of someone who means to say, "Go ahead, I dare you to do otherwise" with his lips in a small pout while lifting his chin up.

I sigh and say, "Fine." I give up to this man. I always do.

We end up finding the horse on a small hill that overlooks the farms. We tie the horses onto a tree nearby and we decide to sit at the top with our legs spread out. The horses seem to be enjoying themselves as they snack on the grass beneath them.

For once I feel comfortable in Tobias' presence. Maybe it's the resonance that the environment gives me but I feel safe and sound for the first time. I lean back on my elbows, as does Tobias. We both just stare at the people of Amity and watch them methodically line up their crops with smiles on their faces.

I break our silence, "Do you ever just wish that you could've led a simple life instead of the ones we have now?"

He looks straight ahead at the people and say, "Sometimes I do. But I chose to be Dauntless, there's no use in thinking of the 'What Ifs.'"

I don't respond as I look across the field as well.

"Tris, I just need you to be in my life. Whether it's me being your instructor or just as friends to maybe even acquaintances…I just need us to be okay and I-"

"Okay."

"I will do whatever it takes to- wait, you said okay?"

I take a deep breath and confirm, "Yes, okay."

"What made you change your mind?" He takes my hand in his and the burn just seems to never go away.

"We were a big part in each other's lives. I can't forget that." I turn my head and smile at him genuinely, "I just want you to be happy and you seem to be. Now I have to go find what makes me happy. I don't want to be miserable about what should've happened."

I say the thing that we both want to hear most,

"I need us to be okay too. I need you in my life." I flip my hand and grab his instead.

His eyes gloss over and smiles back at me.

"I know this is a long shot, that we have to try to become something different than we were before. I'm just happy that you're giving me a chance." He turns back to looking at the farm. But he doesn't relent on his grip to my hand.

I move to sit closer to him and I kiss him on the cheek. His head flies back and looks astonished at me.

I smile once more and let go of his hand, and sit back again. Silence hangs in the air between us, but I'm not uncomfortable anymore.

Because for me to be happy, I know that I'm going to have to be friends with Tobias.

I have to. For both of our sakes.

I get up and reach down to him with my hand. "Let's go back to the stables and drop these horses off, shall we?"

Tobias immediately grabs my hand and I pull him up.

"Damn, how heavy are you now? I almost dislocated my arm trying to pull you up!"

"Hey, I resent that! Look how buff I am? Its all muscle!" He flexes his forearms and I struggle to not drool in front of him.

He catches me though and with a cocky grin, "You see something that you like?" Oh…so we're going to be _that_ type of friends?

"Whatever you say, big guy." I shrug and take off with a grin. We go to our horses and walk them back to the stables, since its not too far away.

"I thought you said this would take hours…" It only took about one to get there.

"Yea well maybe I overestimated it." His face turns red and sheepishly looks down…

"You lied!"

"No, I just didn't tell you the truth!"

"That's lying by omission!"

"No it isn't!"

We banter back and forth until I relent and drop the subject. "Fine, but just tell me the truth next time, okay?"

He looks at me once again with those piercing eyes,

"Always."

It takes me a few seconds to snap out of it. After putting the horses back to where they belong and put the hay that we've carried to them, we left the stables as they feasted.

"Hey, I named my horse Emma. Like that name?" I really liked that name.

Tobias looks at me with his eyebrows raised, "You…know it's a boy, right?"

I stare at him with widened eyes, "No…is it? Emma's not a boy!"

"I'm pretty sure it is…"

We both hop on the train and let it take us to wherever we have to go…

And we can only go up from here.


End file.
